All posts by A Persistent Delirium

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<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/09/03/2016>

I know you’ll never read this. They won’t let you. I just hope that one day you will be free, free to see this and to know that I never gave up on you.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/10/3/2016>

I remember the first time I saw one of your videos. The thing that struck me was how vibrant you were- how alive. You were everything I was looking for- that I needed to keep me sane. From that video I found your archives, your website, twitter, facebook- everything! Every word you wrote, every video you made- it all spoke so clearly to me, to what I’m going through. I tried to share it with my family, a few people at school that I thought would understand, but no one seemed to get it. After a while I just stopped trying.

I understood that you must be aware of me, you must be able to see me and who I am from my posts and profiles and you are contacting me through your work. I didn’t understand this for the longest time- why not reach out directly and speak to me? Why not get in touch? Why leave me alone when you knew what was happening? I didn’t know then what I know now.

It all made sense after you wrote about feeling trapped by society, by the preconceptions of others and being forced to be something you were not. When I saw that, I knew the message was for me. You were letting me know that you were literally trapped, being kept like a prisoner. I don’t know who is doing this to you, but I do know that only I can help.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/15/03/2016>

I’ve made all my posts private. I can’t risk them seeing this before I make a plan. It’s like you said in your video from January: ‘Be who you are. Be strong. Don’t take shit from anyone, but be prepared for a fight, because there are plenty of people out there who hate you for being you!’

Well, I’m not prepared, not yet. I need to find where you are, where you’re being kept. I’ve been looking through all your videos and blogs for any sign of a clue, but I don’t know where to start- there are hundreds of hours of footage and thousands of pages of text to go through.

I’m not giving up, but you have to show me where to start.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/27/03/2016>

YOU DID IT! I don’t know how you managed to get this information past them, but you did it.

I watched your latest video, the HONEYTRAP gig review, and you were there- actually physically there! They must have let you out to make it look like you had freedom of movement (can’t have people getting suspicious after all) but they didn’t know that this was your chance to get a message to me. The concert footage you shot was wonderful, full of the energy and care you always put into your work, but more importantly it gave me a geographical starting point to start looking for you.

In your follow-up post you mentioned that you nearly missed the gig because of a delayed train well I checked and there was only one route that suffered delays that day. There was only one that would get you to the concert. I need to check the route, find the most likely starting positions and start from there. You gave me a start, now it’s up to me to use it.

Stay safe, I’ll be coming soon.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/15/04/2016>

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that this is taking so long. There were more possibilities than I thought, but I’ve been narrowing down the area- just be patient.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/23/04/2016>

I think they’ve found out about us. There are people at school, bad people- they’ve been keeping me from working. At first I thought it was unrelated, but that’s too much of a coincidence. They must all be working together to keep us apart.

The people they’re sending after me are animals- the things they say, and do, to me are supposed to stop me, but it just makes me want to help you more. I know this is nothing compared to what you are going through, but you aren’t going through this alone. The more they hurt me the closer it brings us- we will be tied together through the pain and persecution we suffer.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/03/05/2016 Updated from IPHONE>

OH GOD IT HURTS!

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/24/05/2016>

I’ve been too weak to do anything but go through your archives. Blood loss, concussion and… other injuries. They stopped just short of killing me. I… didn’t know how far they were willing to go. The police told me that there is no evidence of who did this, it was dark and no one saw anything- BUT I TOLD THEM WHO THEY WERE! No evidence. Alibis check out. ‘Sad’, but nothing they can do.

It all comes back around. Everything is linked. We are being stopped from being together and they are willing to kill me to keep us apart. I don’t understand-why? Why do we make them so afraid? Why do they hate us so much? I’m close now. Hold on.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/07/06/2016>

You Gave me a map. You drew it using only implications and veiled references and you trusted that I would find you. I will follow the map to you and you will be free, and I will be happy and no one will ever stand in our way again. They thought they had you hidden- you reached out to me. They thought their dogs could stop me- they have just delayed me. They thought we were weak- we are strong. I’m still healing, it might be a few more weeks, but I’m ready to do what I have to.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/02/07/2016>

Tomorrow. It will be quiet. It’ll be the early morning, sometime about three AM. They can’t send their dogs after us. They won’t be found. Not for some time. I’ve taken measures- anyone who tries to stop us will be dealt with. We have come too far, been through too much to be stopped now. You saved me and now I will save you.

<WWW.MYBLOG.COM/NIGHTOWL99/03/07/2016 Updated from IPHONE >

For months we waited, but I finally saw you last night with my own two eyes, not filtered through video or photograph. I arrived outside your house just after ten PM. The lights were on and I could see you so clearly from where I am hiding. You are exquisite.

I watched you until you went to bed. You were talking to one of them- they must post someone there to guard you. I will deal with them before I wake you.

It ‘s almost three. I wanted to update one last time so you know what it was like for me- to be so close and have to wait. The last five hours have been worse than the last four months, but we will finally be together.

When we meet face-to-face I know it will be the happiest moment of our lives- I know that you’ll see that I’m just like you and that someone will finally accept me.

You’ll have to.

Delirium #1

I dream that I am a sack of potatoes giving birth to the concept of joy.

All will love my potatojoy baby.

All will dismay as my child is torn to shreds by the vicissitudes of a cruel and capricious world- possibly my child will form some sort of chips of jubilation, or a mash of euphoria.

I don’t know.

It’s just a dream.

Don’t take everything so seriously.